Needs of the Many

Bring Your Lies & Half-Truths … I Will Destroy Them

Government Discovers Novel Way To Cut Costs 50%

Posted by Casey on July 30, 2009

A pie chart representing spending by category ...
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Double sided photo copying!

As it turns out, after millions of dollars and dozens of researchers, paper has two sides! At first researchers were skeptical of such unstudied claims, but after extensive scientific research with taxpayer dollars they did discover that paper, in fact, has two sides which may be utilized for printing.

Naturally, these findings have come as quite a shock to the public, who up until now, did not realize that paper had a second workable side. This news is expected to revolutionize our society, and even the planet itself may be saved.

In all, it is estimated that the federal government can save nearly $102 million annually as a result of these stunning findings.

In other news, the federal government has refused to release the cost of research involved in the paper findings. They cited national security as the chief reason for refusing to disclose the funding of this research. After being pressed on the issue, the government finally admitted that they would not disclose the cost … even if it weren’t a national security issue.

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