Needs of the Many

Bring Your Lies & Half-Truths … I Will Destroy Them

The 10 Worst NFL Uniforms, & The 5 Best.

Posted by Casey on February 24, 2008

There are several of these lists floating around online, and know doubt you’ve read a few yourself. Everyone has an opinion, and that is just what this is … MY opinion. After reading list after list and disagreeing with other people’s opinions … I figured I would publish my own list. For the purpose of this post I will focus on the home uniforms mostly used by the teams. I also won’t pay any attention to throwbacks or alternates because they are only used sparingly.

Please feel free to include your list in the comments below.

10 Worst NFL Uniforms

10: Detroit Lions

The Lions have made a vast improvement over their old unis with their current threads, but they still leave something to be desired. While not “ugly” they could use some further tweaking, and have the potential to be a world class uniform. It also may be time for an upgrade of the logo. It should be noted that the new black jersey is fantastic. Perhaps the Lions should look at adding a little more black highlights to compliment their blue.

9: Minnesota Vikings

Yet another victim of “better than before, but still not good enough.” The Vikings are on the right track, but I have no idea what they can do to make those unis better. They may be the victim of their purple/yellow combo. At least the Ravens have a sinister purple/black scheme.

8: Buffalo Bills

Now this is a shame. The Bills have a great color scheme. It doesn’t get much better than red, white, and blue after all. The problem is they don’t put them together well. First of all, the solid dark works for many teams … just not the Bills. Second, the helmet flat out sucks ass.

7: Oakland Raiders

This one is a little strange for me because I like black. I also like silver, and I like the two of them together. The Raiders just look unfinished to me. I wouldn’t propose any major changes, but I’d add some details to give the Raiders a more finished look. I’d also make sure they change their logo.

I think it’s about time the drastic logo change gets done. Seriously, does the Raiders logo accurately represent a raider, or the Raiders’ attitude? Of course it doesn’t. If you were at sea and the raider who was trying to rob you looked like the Raiders’ logo you’d be less worried about them stabbing you in the stomach, and more worried about them stabbing you in the ass … if you know what I mean. It’s time to give the Black Hole a worthy logo.

6: Kansas City Chiefs

I’ll admit that I have a problem with red helmets paired with red jerseys, and that’s probably the main reason I’ve never liked the Chiefs uniforms. I really don’t have anything more than that to add. I just don’t care for them.

5: Tennessee Titans

Another case of I just don’t like them. I didn’t care for the oilers before them, and I don’t care for the Titans now. I think it’s the helmet … which is hideous. I give mad props to the Titans though because they are one of the few teams that will invest in several different uniforms to keep it fresh. I wish all teams did that.

4: Indianapolis Colts

I’ve run into several other lists like this online that love the Colts’ uniforms. My question is … why? If there was ever a too minimalist approach to a sports uniform this is it. Yes the Colts unis are classic, and that should be respected. However, you can have a classic look while still having a modern uniform.

Their uniforms remind me of one thing … pee wee football. This is exactly the uniform you get when you are a kid. It’s time for the Colts to grow up.

3: San Fransisco 49ers

I have never been a fan of the 49ers’ uniforms … even when Montana was hitting Rice and making history. I despise the red/gold combo, but the white pants sometimes worn are a step in the right direction. Are the 49ers a professional football team, or a poorly wrapped Christmas present?

2: Miami Dolphins

The Dolphins uniforms should be San Fransisco’s uniforms. It’s hard to imagine a uniform that better represents fruit than these. At least Florida has a lot of citrus crops to take the fall as the inspiration for this utterly dismal design. I’ve seen other lists make fun of the Seahawks’ sea foam color while ignoring the Dolphins far more offensive aqua. Nothing screams toughness like aqua.

Does anyone else find it odd that the Dolphins logo is tougher looking than the Raiders’?

I have good news for Dolphins fans, and the rest of us forced to burn our retinas on these eyesores … there are rumors that the dolphins are going to change their unis this upcoming season. Many are speculating that they will announce this at the draft. Dear God let’s hope so.

Finally, here it is … the ugliest uniform in the NFL.

1: Cleveland Browns

I’ve noticed a strange correlation between the other lists online, and the Browns being listed as one of the best NFL uniforms. I smell a conspiracy among Browns fans. After decades of the Browns uniforms being universally acknowledged as the ugliest in the NFL, Browns fans are fighting back. Good for them, but that doesn’t change the undeniable horridness of their uniforms.

To make matters worse, the Browns had a free pass for a do over when they moved to Baltimore. Hell, the first thing the Ravens did was shed the ugly unis of their past. When the fans of Cleveland demanded the Browns come back … they succeeded. A perfect opportunity to design a new uniform that would be respected by fans around the league was squandered as the Cleveland Browns went back to the old and ugly uniforms of yesteryear. I can remember have many discussions with fellow fans who were also stunned that the Browns brought back the crap colored uniforms. The reason the Browns are number 1 for the ugliest uniform in the NFL is blatantly obvious … they can only be described as repugnant.

There you have my 10 worst NFL uniforms list, but what about the 5 best? You’ll find my list of the 5 best uniforms in the NFL below.

Top 5 NFL Uniforms

5: Atlanta Falcons

The Falcons have had a history of so so uniforms. They went with red … they went with black … finally, someone suggested to put red and black together while using white as a buffer between the two. This novel idea took the Falcons into the 21st century as far as uniforms go. Everything about the new threads is better than the past, and they look good when they take the field.

4: Seattle Seahawks

I’ve seen several list who hate the new Seahawks unis, but seriously … come on! There are more than 8 colors in the world to use on a uniform, but anytime a team shows some originality people freak out. Not only are the Seahawks uniforms infinitely better than anything they’ve ever had, but they accurately represent the pacific northwest that the Seahawks call home.

The sea foam, green, white, and blue all complement each other to make a great looking original uniform. The Seahawks look sharp in a uniform that hasn’t been ripped off from any other team, and that accurately represents their home … few teams can say that.

3: Houston Texans

Now this team looks sharp! Finally an expansion team that got their uniforms right. I can’t say enough about the Texans’ uniforms … the color combo, number of uniforms, stellar logo, and a perfect blend of modern and traditional style make them one of my hands down favorites in all of sports.

The Texans took their uniforms seriously when they entered the NFL, and it shows. Not only does it show in the colors, but the logo says a lot about how proud that organization is. Virtually all modern expansion teams have bad logos. Just look at the Ravens, Panthers, Titans and Jaguars to see what I mean. The Texans straight up look good!

2: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Tampa Bay used to have the honor of ugliest uniforms with their old tangerine jerseys. People used to make fun of the Bucs because they looked like girls even though the tangerine is a hell of a lot more manly than aqua. A little while back Tampa got sick and tired of being the laughing stock of the NFL, and they went as far away from “fruity” as possible. Tampa Bay wanted their new look to strike fear in their opponents. They wanted to be the bully now, and they succeeded on both counts.

It was instantaneous that the Bucs became a new team the moment they got their new uniforms. Perhaps they had designed a uniform that intimidated their opponents. Of the two pirate teams in the NFL, only the Bucs truly represent the savage nature of a pirate. As with the Seahawks, the Bucs branched out from the traditional 8 colors for their uniforms, and went with a pewter. Some may say that the Bucs look like the 49ers (and we all know how much I hate the 49ers’ uniforms), but if you think that … you are a dink. The Bucs have a truly original uniform that accurately represents their mascot, and the historical heritage of the waters of their coast.

A pirate is not a pirate without a jolly roger flag, and the Bucs were wise to put on their helmets. Pirates need a symbol that lets everyone know that they mean business, and that they are truly vicious pirates … not butt pirates (listen up Oakland). For originality, colors, accurate representation, and a menacing look … the Bucs are second on my list.

The best looking uniform in the NFL is …

1: Chicago Bears

I’ll admit I’m biased because I’m a die hard Bears fan, but I’m not biased like Browns fans in that I’m not delusional enough to say my team’s uniforms are the best simply because they are my team. No, the Bears are universally acknowledged to have one of the best uniforms in the NFL, and even all of professional sports. Most lists have the Bears in the top 3. So it isn’t a stretch at all to put them at number one.

Bear blue is not only original, but it is timeless as well. The Bears have found a way to maintain their traditional look throughout the decades while still keeping the team looking fresh and new. If only the Colts would pay attention to this process. The Bears’ uniform has changed little over the years, but they have been great at “tweaking” their timeless look to keep up with modern style. This talent has kept the Bears’ uniforms one of most liked by football fans for decades. I would like to see the Bears branch out a little in an alternate design, but I never want them to get rid of their classic look. It isn’t just these great points that make the Bears’ uniforms my favorite, but the fact that they honor “Papa Bear” himself George Stanley Halas on their sleeves by imprinting GSH. Now that is classy.


20 Responses to “The 10 Worst NFL Uniforms, & The 5 Best.”

  1. Anonymous said

    Your delusional.
    The Bears have the best uniform????
    The Falcons in the top 5??
    The flying rats,i mean Seahawks in the top 5????
    Why not the Skins in the 10 worst?
    Most of your bottom ten beat teams you didn’t mention like the Cards and Crows.
    Most of he teams you didn’t metion beat all the teams in your top 5.

    Eh,everyone is entitled to an opinion.Even if it hurts the ears of wisdom and sensability.

  2. Anonymous said

    the overdone “new” style of the bengals, SEAHAWKS, cardinals, bills, and especially the FALCONS are the virus that is infecting the NFL uniform. As a diehard Lions fan, i must say i disapprove of the multiple layers of black/white/silver/honolulu but nothing is worse than the unnecessary piping, overdone sleves, and gaudy pants demonstrated by the bills, falcons, cardinals, and bengals. these teams need to find a more simplistic, classic yet updated look in order to even be mentioned in the same category of the bills’ throwbacks, 9ers’ throwbacks,vikings’ throwbacks, or the jaguars. admittedly i am a throwback fantatic…and i just love the solid black the jags (and occasionally the ravens) sometimes sport. Though i admit that black is taking over the NFl, this is sometimes for the better, so long as tradition and pride is not replaced with gaudiness and disney-like interpratations of “style”

  3. Anonymous said

    chiefs? #6 worst uniform, you have got to be kidding me. i wouldnt say its the BEST jerseys but definitely not the worst. and the cowboys have got to be in that top five, putting the seahawks out

  4. Anonymous said

    the ravens and titans aren’t expansion teams

  5. Casey said

    Yes the Ravens and Titans are expansion teams. I realize they were moved from other cities, but they also renamed themselves. Had they kept the same name they would have simply been teams who moved.

    You could say the Texans aren’t an expansion team given their name and city (both have been used before by other teams), but in reality they are.

    Technically, the Browns are an expansion team as well.

    Most of the uniforms that didn’t get listed are just in between. Decent uniforms, but not worthy of praise or scorn.

    It is funny how some tend to revert to juvenile behavior when talking about uniforms. It’s opinion folks … if you disagree, make your own list. That’s the reason I made this one. I was tired of disagreeing with the lists that everyone else posted.

    • chris said

      The ravens and Titans are not expansion teams, they moved as you said but the league did not expand, new name or not doesnt matter….genius

  6. Brian said

    You’re an idiot! The Browns have the absolute BEST uniforms in any sport in history!!! Also, i think the chiefs definitely need an upgrade and the 49ers are due to revamp their uniforms in 2009, so we’ll see how they end up.

  7. Daniel said

    Don’t know about Da Bears as #1 but hey, like you said, it’s an opinion. I would put the Cowboys up there in the top 5. And I like the Seahawks too. I think the Cards need a major upgrade. But my biggest gripe is the Bills. How does an NFL team have a uni like that? The stripes on their pants and jerseys don’t even match. It looks like they had some extra blue tape so they added a tiny little stripe on their helmet and sleeves. Their uniform looks like three different people bought their helmet, jersey and pants and didn’t bother talking before they went shopping.

  8. docweasel said

    You just aren’t consistent. You call the Browns and Colts old fashioned and ugly, and at the same time rank the Bears at the top.

    The Browns, Bears and Colts unis are classics, and sticking with them is cool, because its football.

    Nothing is cooler than the teams like those mentioned and Pack and the Giants and the Steelers and the “frozen tundra this week in the NFL” memories that come flooding back with these great unis and helmet logos.

    I fucking hate teams who look like basketball teams. I’m not a fan of the “modern” style of uniform, which is basically design something that makes good merchandising to the gang bangers. Fuck the inner-city gangstas, all the pointy flares on the logos and black on black on black color schemes (how long until every frippin’ team has BLACK as one of it’s main colors) Black should be banned for every team but the Raiders and Steelers and every team should have to go back to the drawing board and come up with new, original colors.

    Any team whose uni or logo looks like the Grizzlies or the Timber Wolves should also be forced to redesign.

    • A TALL GANGSTA said

      U Gotaa be a racist mufucka u dont like niggas huh whiteboy???? Go eat some parsnips and try to get a king kong dick LIKE ME NIGGUH!!!! IMMA TALL GANGSTA IN MY CHOPPA SUIT

  9. Anonymous said

    You are a moron.

  10. blake said

    how can tampa bay be in the worst and the best

  11. Host said

    It’s not that the Colts and Browns are “old” at all. The Browns are universally known as the ugliest uniforms. The only time I don’t find someone with that opinion they are Browns fans, and that’s cool with me.

    The Colts aren’t on my list because they are old. They are on there because they look like pee wee uniforms … not a professional franchise.

    You guys can deduce that the uniforms not mentioned are middle of the road, and likable in my opinion. I like the new vintage Giants as mentioned by another commenter.

    As for the Bucs being on both lists. I addressed that in the post, but it was still funny. There is a huge difference between gold and pewter. Although the new Bucs are worse than when they first made the change from orange. Back then the pewter was more silver like.

  12. todd d ferrell said

    incredible.your list unis steelers raiders cowboys vikings[before all the girlie stripes]ny giants[road]jaguars packers rams[no blue or white pants].worst…bucs [colors are sick] ravens [black pants have to go]like falcons colors hate girlie stripes seahawks ok take out the green stripe and all one color does not work on a football uniform.bengals are a disgrace.bills need match up side stripes and again the all one color scheme does not work.when jets wear green pants they look ridiculous.suggestion; when the jets want to wear throwbacks they should wear the late 70’s sack exchange unis and burn all the titans crap, they are the worst.

  13. Paul said

    I’m an Eagles fan and I’ve always wondered what people think of their unis. Sometimes I like em and sometimes I don’t. What do other people think? I kinda like the old kelly green over the new dark green. Anyways…

    My least fav: Browns, Dolphins, Vikings, Colts, Bills, Chiefs
    My fav: Falcons, Chargers, Cardinals, Pats, Seahawks, Texans

    • Host said

      I personally like them. I’m like you though in that there was just something nostalgic about their old uniforms. I’d like to see a good merger between the two styles next time around. I’ve also gotten several emails from people who do like them as long as it isn’t the black.

  14. bill said

    you are a fuckin idiot

  15. Spencer said

    Referred here from Uni Watch, which is actually sensible, unlike this rubbish.

    Seahawks in the top 5? I suppose you like the new lime green jerseys debuted this weekend as well?

    Fruit? San Francisco?

    It’s a bit ironic that he’s apparently a bit of a homophobe. One stereotype of homosexuals is that they have good fashion sense, unlike this clown.

  16. Tony said

    you must be retarded, The Raiders, Dolphins, Browns, and Colts have awesome uniforms.

    The Falcons, Texans, and Seahawks have some of the worst and ugliest uniforms in sports history. please re do this list to make some sense

  17. Tony said

    like a previous man posted, im not a fan of “modern” uniforms either, with 10 stripes and patterns everywhere, i like simple and classic uniforms like the Raiders, Colts, Browns etc.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

%d bloggers like this: